I learned to drive at the Sears Authorized Driving School at Hanes Mall in the mid 1990s. Yes, Sears offers driver’s education classes, and I’m not sure why. The school was located on the first floor of the department store down a hallway off the sales floor. It was a tiny room with no windows and a couple of rows of desks attached to chairs. All the years I’d lived in Winston-Salem and shopped at Sears with my parents, I never knew there was a driving school in there. We watched some poorly produced, ancient VHS videos about driving dos and don’ts. And then came the road practice.
The driving instructor was a southern gentleman with red hair styled in a mullet. He was probably in his early 30s at the time.
One day while I was driving and he was in the instructor / passenger seat, he asked in his very southern accent, “Are you Grecian?”
“No, I’m black,” I said.
“Well, that’s what I get for assuming. You know what they say about assuming?” he asked me.
“No, I don’t,” I replied.
“To assume, is to make an ass out of you and me!” he proclaimed.
I nodded my head in an obligatory manner and I thought: Is this dude in a mullet really trying to drop pearls of wisdom on me while I’m learning to drive?
I wasn’t annoyed that he asked about my race. I was more annoyed that he incorrectly said Grecian instead of Greek.
Light and All Write 